Where Life Taking Me: To Be Celebrated

I was just at a friend's house for her birthday celebrations a few hours ago. It was actually just a basic get-together. It's something she's done every year. Her mother would make enough food to feed a large group even if she didn't invite anyone. She would then simply wait for her buddies to arrive one by one. After me, a couple of buddies arrived with cake and candles but no lighter. They later handed her the cake and instructed her to light and blow the candles herself. It was pretty funny that we didn't even sing happy birthday. We joked that they should've just sent her the money and she'd purchase the cake herself, or sent her the supplies so she could bake the cake herself. A few more of her pals arrived later, and they brought another cake with candles already lighted. She had seen them when they entered, so it was no longer a surprise. They stepped in and handed her the cake, this time with the candles to blow out. I'd say it was really uncomplicated, with no drama and just a simple birthday party. Her friends were aware that it was her birthday, and they made the effort to come and celebrate with her, even if it wasn't anything extravagant like we see in movies and dramas. Nothing like a birthday celebration with balloons, a large feast, music, lovely outfits, and sparkles. However, I appreciated her friends for making the effort. They shared a lot of laughter, ate some simple but delicious cuisine, and talked for a long time about many things.

When I got home, I began to consider what it means to be celebrated. I feel like I've forgotten how it feels really. I enjoy celebrating my closest friends and making them feel special, but it is frequently one-sided. I'm not claiming no one ever did anything special for my birthday or for me, because they did. The issue is that it doesn't happen on a regular basis, and it happens so rarely that I don't expect it. I even got to the point where I chose to do things my own, to organize everything on my own, with some support, but the initiative was all mine. Meanwhile, at the same time, I'm growing exhausted. I'm going to quit putting in effort now. It's depressing. But that's just the way life and people are. Especially in this day and age, when everything is supposed to be instant. There's no need to call; just send a quick message. It will serve to send a voice message, gifs, or stickers. I, too, become lazy and drained. I've spent a lot of my time and energy celebrating others, only to find out that they didn't do the same for me. Therefore, I will be selfish too. Because I need to look after myself. They are capable of looking after themselves. I'll just settle for mediocrity.