So, yeah it happened to me. When I heard it, my heart ached so bad. But I covered it up. It wasn't only my heart that hurt but also my self-esteem. I wrote an article before (read http://ceasycheese.blogspot.com/2015/08/i-am-beautiful.html) about how I finally find my beauty and my value in Jesus as know I was created fearfully and wonderfully by God. I am so much more confident today than I was years ago knowing this. Then, my confidence in Him was tested on that day. Did I pass? Yes, I did. How would I know? I'll tell you how in two ways. I will identify myself as "me before" and "me after". "me before" is I when I haven't found my beauty and value in Jesus and "me after" is I am today. I respond differently in thoughts and actions as "me before" and "me after" when I notice people see or call me ugly . Those thoughts and actions will tell you why and how I passed the test.
Me before: I will agree with those who see and call me ugly
Me after: I will remind myself of what God says in Book of Jeremiah that He himself formed me in my mother's womb. God, the creator of heaven and earth, formed me fearfully and wonderfully in my mother's womb so I should be freaking beautiful.
Me before: I will hate that person for being so mean to me
Me after: I will ask God to enable me to forgive that person right away
Me before: I will blame myself for not being beautiful and then blame my parents for not being beautiful as well and then blame my mom or dad for not getting married to foreigner so that I could look like Cinta Laura or other children born from crossbred family and then eventually blame God for not being fair to me since I look uglier than other girls.
Me after: I thank God for my dark skin, flat nose, thick lips, messy hair, basically all things about myself
Me before: I will judge that person who calls me ugly as heartless mean judgmental person
Me after: I look at myself thinking that I also sometimes judge people based on their appearance, I just wont say it frankly. Then I ask God to teach me to see beauty in each individual and to have His kind of heart filled of love for people no matter how "ugly" they look like.
Me before: I will say something to make that person feels bad
Me after: I stay quiet and pray in my heart asking God to remind me of how beautiful and precious I am in His eyes
That's how I passed.
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